The Evils of Unresolved Issues...

Today has been slightly frustrating.  The fact that I had to get up at 6 really didn't help, but whatever, I'm used to it.  Church is supposed to be my ESCAPE from drama and all that stuff, but it's the exact opposite.  See, we had this hecka big group going for awhile over the summer, but it's dwindled down severely and there are all these problems now.  Instead of one, close-knit group, we're like 5 small groups.  It totally sucks.  I'm just DONE with all of this.  I wanna go back to OGN...that seems to fix everything, but then when we get back everyone gets back into their normal schedule and again, everything falls apart.  Sometimes I don't understand why God's letting this happen, I mean, aren't we supposed to have fellowship with other Christians??!?!?!  We totally had that kinda thing going earlier this year, but now?  NOTHING.  Zilch.  Nada.  It's really made me question every friendship that I have at church, and I'm now realizing who's real and who's fake, and let me be the first to tell you that seeing the realistic numbers compared to what I thought they were completely SUCKS.  I can't help but feel like this is somehow all my fault even though I know it's not.  There are those nights/days when things are great and I totally love it, but deep down I know that most of it is fake and simply and association kind of thing.  I'm not saying that I hate church because of that.  I absolutely LOVE my youth group as a whole, but it's just that all of the sophomores have all of these unresolved issues and no one's trying to resolve them, therefore everyone's feelings and stuff are being pushed under the rug and not really being dealt with.  I know that there's a lot of hurt in the group, but hey, if no one's willing to deal with it and get a fresh start, that's there choice...sorry for the rant, I just really needed to get all of this off my chest.