Lack of Inspiration....

I've been wanting to blog for DAYS, but I can't think of anything good enough to blog about.  After my massive "if today was your last day" blog, I feel like I need to write super deep blogs all the time, which is obviously not true.  I need something inspiring to happen.  Or I need one of my friends to say something really profound or whatever that causes me to spend an hour and a half blogging.  Hopefully something will come up soon, or I don't know what I'll do.  "Sometimes, you have to give up your right to be right..." just think about that quote and chew on it for a day...

Happy Halloween everyone and goodbye childhood.  I miss getting tons of candy...*sigh* all of a sudden I don't want to grow up!!

There is a God, how much proof do you need...

God Moment: "When one experiences a moment where God's real plan/presence/love is revealed. It can be experienced through song, prayer, others words/actions or simply a random feeling of serenity or feelings as such."

That's Urban Dictionary's definition of a God-moment.  I'm 99.9% sure that most people have experienced one of these in their lifetime whether they know it or not.  I honestly can't explain the feeling, but it's pretty much the coolest thing ever...

So, at OGN (blog to come soon, I promise!), we had a time for devos every morning.  A majority of the week, I went and sat in the amphitheater that they have on campus.  On Friday or Saturday morning, I went over there after breakfast like usual, and I started reading through the devo they had for that day.  I had had a really rough week so far and was feeling really alone even though I had 2 friends sitting like right next to me.  Being the good little child that I am, I was just reading along, doing my devos and such, just trying to push my feelings aside, and I randomly looked up from my binder.  On a side note, it was a pretty overcast morning, you how it is on the coast in the mornings.  Anyway, I looked up and I just saw this stream of light shining on the white amphitheater thingy at the bottom of the steps.  It was almost like a spotlight coming from Heaven.  When I saw it, I knew that God was there with me no matter what and I was really never alone no matter how much I felt like I was.  That moment alone gave me the strength I really needed to get through the day.  I know it sounds really weird to say that this was a life-changing moment, but it really was.  It was one of the first times I actually felt God there with me at that moment.  

God's always here no matter how alone you feel.  Chances are you're not actually going to see him, but He sends signs, TRUST ME...

This is basically what it looked like, just picture the sky all overcast and a stream of light shining at the top of the white thingy!!!!!!!!!!  Ohhh how I love Point Loma!!

They're my world...Part 4

Robbyn's a very interesting person for sure.  I've actually know her since like 5th grade when she went to my church, and we had some pretty cool times, like Sugar Pine.  Then she left to go to another church, and we didn't see each other til 7th grade.  It was pretty crazy when I found out that I had science with her.  Since then we've had random classes together, but we didn't really hang out til this year. In the 2 months we've been back in school, we've had some pretty crazy times, like every day in English, chillin like the cool kids we are in Frontline, hanging out with our misfit group during lunch, and stuff like that.  OH!!!!  And geometry with Dr. Vang last year.  Who could EVER forget that?!?!  "2 "Robyn Young's in 2 years and 1 was Asian!!!!!"  One thing I really like is that she's a SUPER strong Christian, and she's been a REALLY good influence on me this year.  I'm really excited for these next few years at Buchanan (finally), and I'm 99% sure Robbyn's gonna definitely be a huge part of that!!!!!

Robbyn Young, everyone!!!!!  And no, she's actually not Asian...

A look at my crazy, jumbled thoughts

Pandora is amazing
Black raspberry sparkling ice is delishh
I really need to go running later tonight
I wonder how far I can run without stopping
Best thing I saw today: a poster saying "Charlie Sheen isn't #winning"
My leg really itches
I'm NOT looking forward to presenting tomorrow
I REALLY want to go see Lady Antebellum on March 28th
I can NOT wait to redo my room!!!!!!!
I really need to start driver's ed.
I wish I could drive somewhere very very far from Fresno
There are birthday presents that need to get finished, but I can't bring myself to do so...
I have an 89.9 in English and it's KILLING ME
Chemistry SUCKS. The end.
This blog really isn't going anywhere
Fall and winter are my favorite time of year<3
My nail polish is super shiny
November 2nd...Haunted Forest at Jerry's, BE THERE!!!!!!!
I love love love love love love LOVE my small group
I wish the sophs wouldn't fight so much at church
I really wish I could find a super good guy friend....................
Luke and Kimmy broke up...I think half of the underclassmen in choir/drama were devastated
Jonah hit me in the face with an apple today
2 midterms this week = no bueno :(
Yesterday was super cool
I have some serious jealousy issues and I hate it!!!!!!
Chelsea's letter made my day :)
I should probably go study, but I really don't want to...

I would kill to be chillin in the amphitheater at Point Loma right now<3

 I REALLY wish Stars Hollow was a real place, cuz I would TOTALLY live there (Gilmore Gilrs FTW!!!!!!!)

 Hume Lake.  Favorite place in the WORLD.  Nuff said

 This looks super peaceful.  Why can't Fresno be this beautiful?

 Save me, San Francisco<3 AHHHHHH I really need to go here again!!!!!

If you're still reading this, wow, I don't understand how you put up with my thoughts

I'm going to go do something else totally unproductive...........

If today was your last day...

"If today was your last day, and tomorrow was too late, could you say goodbye to yesterday?  Would you live each moment like your last?" -Nickelback

Now normally, I really don't like Nickelback, but I really like the meaning of this song.  I know you're probably wondering why I'm writing a blog about today being your last, day, but I promise there's a legitimate reason behind all of this.

So tonight at small groups we were going around talking about what we liked in a certain set of verses we read earlier in the night. Everyone of course had different answers, and they were all really good, but there was one in particular that stood out. One of the verses said "When can I go and meet with God?", and she was talking about how, because of some things that had happened earlier this week, it made her think about like how none of us know when we're going to die, so we need to make the most of the time we have, or something along those lines. Anyways, then our groups started talking about how we really don't want to have to live with not really being able to tell everyone how much they mean to us, or how much they've impacted our lives in the long (or short) time that we've known them. And, I think you might be able to see where I'm going with this. Haley suggested that since this was on my mind I write letters to all of my friends just so I know that I don't have to worry about having to live with all of those thoughts/feelings if I ever lose one of them before I get the chance to talk to them. So, I figured since I'm too lazy to write all of this out, I'll just put it into one massive blog and send everyone the link when I feel like it. I guess I'll just end this part by saying that I love you guys sooooo much and don't know what I'd do without you!!!!!

To all of my friends at school,
You guys are seriously AMAZING!!!!  I don't know how I'd survive school without each and every one of you.  We probably have the weirdest mix of personalities in the history of the universe, but somehow it just works.  And this huge group of friends works.  Since 5th grade, I've had really not great experiences with friends at school, and when I was thisclose to giving up, you guys came into my life.  I can't wait to see what these next 2 and 1/2 years bring us.  Chelsea, Amanda, Robyn, Sukhi, Tia, Jonah, Taylor, Brie, Chandni, Sam, Maddy, Emily, and everyone else that I can't think of right now (stupid tiredness!!), you guys mean the world to me and I love you all!!!!!  Front row full of people who don't really belong in any other group FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ali,
Oh man, what an awesome 2 years it's been.  We've had some CRAZY times my friend.  I can't think of any words to describe our friendship, that's how random it is!!  Nonetheless, I'm sooooo happy I can call you my seester/bestie.  Someday, we WILL go on the missions trip to New Zealand, cuz we're just amazing like that.  Legs ARE for real, Brian no longer lives in a submarine (ohh whatta day that was), never go "out of town", or else Erica will think awkward things, and umm yeah.  STEP STEP MERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!  Pretty Little Liars and the Lying Game are legit. I'm definitely gonna miss Bible study and Starbucks and stuff, but January isn't THAT far away, is it?  Ok, it is, but we can wait.  Panda is the greatest thing ever!!!!!!!  WE'RE FINALLY IN A SMALL GROUP TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I've overjoyed about this fact.  We need to go to the beach again next year, cuz that was awesome and I really need a new turtle necklace.  Anywho, you're an awesome friend and I'm super jealous of your ability to not let drama bug you too much.  Consider yourself extremely lucky to have that gift.  Love you seester!!!!!!!

Michele and Janna,
You guys are incredible!!  I don't know how I would have gotten through 6th grade without the two of you.  You've helped me with SOOOOO much in life, and have definitely impacted my life in an awesome way.  I miss being about to talk and hang out with you guys all the time, but life happens I guess.  I think the fact that we don't get to talk as much makes the times we DO get to talk even more special.  I hope you guys keep working with 56 as long as possible because I know they really need your guys' influence in their lives.  It definitely changed my life and way of thinking, and that's a good thing.  I can't wait to see how God uses you in the lives of the other elementary kids you work with and I'm SUPER excited to see how your kids end up, cuz they're pretty cool if you ask me!!  Love you guys to death!!!!!

Haley,
Oh Hales, you're seriously awesome.  I don't know what I would do without you, and I really cherish our friendship.  You're the greatest daughter ever.  Thanks for being the Rory to my Lorelai (cuz you know I just had to throw in a Gilmore Girls reference in there!!).  We need to keep this freaky same-brained thing going cuz it's really fun creeping people out with it.  I'm sooooo happy that Erica brought you to Broomball last year, cuz I probably wouldn't know you if she hadn't.  I love watching what God's done in your life since OGN, and I'm excited to see what else He's going to do in the years to come.  I can't wait til we're at Point Loma together (in college), cuz you know that's definitely going to happen!!!!  Please please PLEASE continue to be an evil 4 year old and an 80 year old cuz we both know you have WAY too many centuries ;) and keep being a soupsock homeschooled kid with me (secretly, of course!!!)  Love you chica!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erica,
It has been awesome getting to know you over the past 6 years.  It's crazy that we've known each other since 4th grade and now we're in 10th.  We've had our fair share of ups and downs, but every sucky thing that we've gone through has only made our friendship stronger and more unique.  You know I'm always here for you no matter what, and I know it's the same vice versa.  How I would've survived the last 5 years of small groups without you, I have NO idea!!  You were my sanity last year, and this year we're in like the greatest group ever and I'm really happy that we get to go through another year together.  I don't know what I would do without your advice on everything from friends to guys to God.  I can't wait to see what God is going to do with you in the future, and I know it'll be something totally great!!  Thanks for being like the sister I've always wanted, but never got!!!!!  I really treasure our friendship, and I hold you in my heart (Christy Miller reference FTW!!!)  Oh, and please think of that one day at church every time you go out of town ;) Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, last but not least...

Alyssa,
Ohhh Junior.  This is going to be the letter that makes me write til midnight.  I think we have one of the weirdest stories ever, yeah?  If someone had told me at the beginning of last summer that you would seriously make a huge difference in my life by the end of that summer, I definitely would NOT have believed them.  Then the "OGN night" came.  I had a lot to talk about, and no one to talk to.  Like seriously, at that point in my life I felt like I had no adult to talk to, and because of other experiences (which I will someday tell you), I had some problems really being able to trust people.  Then, that night came and you were randomly online, so I figured I'd message you cuz you had been commenting on my status earlier.  Yup, this whole friendship got started over a status.  I remember that night you telling me that you may not be Karen, but I could talk to you whenever I needed to.  And I definitely thought about it and figured why not?  Now, over a year later, I'm SOOOOO glad I decided to trust you with everything.  You've had such a huge impact in my life over the last year, and I'm most definitely not the same person I was a year ago.  I don't know what my life would be like without you, and I'm glad I didn't have to go down that road.  Out of all of the friendships I've had over the course of the short 15 and 1/2 years I've been alive, this one ranks in the top 5 of the best friendships I've ever had.  I really look up to you, and I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy I'm FINALLY in your small group!!!!!  I'm going to be SUPER mad if you end up moving, but I know God has a plan, even if it doesn't involve me (even though it really should!!)  Thanks for always being there for me no matter what.  I don't know what I would do without you!!  You're the best unbiological mom ever (even though you're the only one I've had).  And this is getting waaaayyyy too long and sentimental, and I feel like I'm just rambling now, and it's almost midnight, so I'm just gonna stop there.  I don't think you'll ever know how much you mean to me or how much you've influenced every aspect of my life.  Thanks for being one of the few people that really get me.  I swear it's cuz of our whole same brain thing.  And, I'll always be your little accident prone narwhal!!!!  Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They're my world...Part 3

Haley and I have an interesting story. We met at Broomball last year when Erica brought her. We totally hit it off instantly and started forming our own VERY weird friendship. We've had SO many awesome memories and have our share of hilarious stories that don't really make sense. TPing craziness, Starbucks obsessions, hours at church over the summer, hanging at the lake, spending a week in San Diego (blog about that to come later), taking WAAAAAYYYY too many pictures, calling Alyssa at THE most inconvenient times...the list kind of goes on and on. We're both crazy obsessed with coffee, country music, and Gilmore Girls. Haley's also my daughter AND sister, even though she's a month and 25 days older than me. She's also my sister/bruh/co-conspirator. She's been a huge help over the last few months and she's always reminding me to keep my focus on God. We're basically the same person and we share the same brain.

Seeing every challenge optimistically and facing the world with a smile, meet Haley...

The Evils of Unresolved Issues...

Today has been slightly frustrating.  The fact that I had to get up at 6 really didn't help, but whatever, I'm used to it.  Church is supposed to be my ESCAPE from drama and all that stuff, but it's the exact opposite.  See, we had this hecka big group going for awhile over the summer, but it's dwindled down severely and there are all these problems now.  Instead of one, close-knit group, we're like 5 small groups.  It totally sucks.  I'm just DONE with all of this.  I wanna go back to OGN...that seems to fix everything, but then when we get back everyone gets back into their normal schedule and again, everything falls apart.  Sometimes I don't understand why God's letting this happen, I mean, aren't we supposed to have fellowship with other Christians??!?!?!  We totally had that kinda thing going earlier this year, but now?  NOTHING.  Zilch.  Nada.  It's really made me question every friendship that I have at church, and I'm now realizing who's real and who's fake, and let me be the first to tell you that seeing the realistic numbers compared to what I thought they were completely SUCKS.  I can't help but feel like this is somehow all my fault even though I know it's not.  There are those nights/days when things are great and I totally love it, but deep down I know that most of it is fake and simply and association kind of thing.  I'm not saying that I hate church because of that.  I absolutely LOVE my youth group as a whole, but it's just that all of the sophomores have all of these unresolved issues and no one's trying to resolve them, therefore everyone's feelings and stuff are being pushed under the rug and not really being dealt with.  I know that there's a lot of hurt in the group, but hey, if no one's willing to deal with it and get a fresh start, that's there choice...sorry for the rant, I just really needed to get all of this off my chest.

They're my world...Part 2

Since I've decided to do this whole "introducing my friends" series of blogs, I've been thinking a lot about who I'm going to write about, and I can't just limit to school or church, so I'll alternate it every other day.

I've known Erica since 4th grade, and it's definitely been a rough 6 years.  Our friendship has been through SOO much.  Even when I was being a complete idiot, she stuck by me.  8th grade was a really not good year, but I don't think our friendship would be where it is today without that break.  We've been through everything, from guy issues to friend issues to our fair share of fights and now going on 6 years of small groups together.  I honestly don't know what I would do without her.  She's always keeping me in check and has this amazing passion for Jesus and making sure he's number 1 in her life.  She's the best friend I could have asked for and an amazing sister.  We also have some pretty amazing inside jokes...step step merrrrr!!!!!!!  Out of town...anniversary ;).  Anywho, I'm soo blessed to have Erica in my life, and couldn't imagine life without her.

Now taking on life from the drivers seat, everyone meet Erica...

They're my world...Part 1

Anyone who knows me would know that my friends mean the WORLD to me, so I figured I'd introduce them to you...

Chelsea is one of the craziest people I've ever met.  I've known her since 8th grade, but we didn't really talk until last year (freshman year).  If you were to first meet Chelsea, you would probably think that she was either really loud or really socially awkward...actually, she's like that even when you know her.  However, once you get to know her, you'll learn that she's one of the funniest people you'll ever meet.  She's also REALLY passionate about church and God and all of that amazing stuff.  She has THE most amazing fashion sense ever!!!  Cuz ya know, boxers, erm, shorts, and t-shirts are definitely all the rage.  Me and Anna have fun criticizing her outfits in PE.  Honestly, I couldn't imagine her wearing anything else.  It's just what makes her Chelsea.  Whenever I'm having a sucky day, I know I can turn to her for a laugh and she never fails.  Chelsea also is secretly an 80 year old woman, with her granny knees and whatnot, but she's an AMAZING bike ride partner!!  She's also really creative.  I mean, who else would've thought of playing checkers with Starbucks napkins?  Not me, that's for sure!!  Chels, you have some serious dancing skills and I'm sooo blessed to have you in my life!!  Love you!!!!!!

Chelsea Cook, ladies and gentlemen.....

Oh Thursdays...

Thursdays have always been a hard day for me.  I usually have church on Wednesdays, so I'm always super tired the next day, and it's next to impossible to wake up.  Today wasn't much different.  Normally, my mom would wake me up around 6:30, but she woke me up at 7 instead.  This wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that we have to leave the house at 7:25ish.  So I have 25 minutes to get ready and everything.  Super fun, right?  Thankfully, most of the day was easy and really chill.  Then came Chemistry.  I hate that class sooooo much!!!!!!!!!!  Anyways, thanks Chelsea and Sam for inspiring me to start blogging!!!!